You’ll no doubt be aware that a balls up in the BBC News department meant that an unknown guy on his way to an interview was mistaken for another Guy entirely. If not you can read all about it here and see the video here. Well the dust has settled now and Mr Goma has has his 15 minutes of fame but Guy Kewney is a little miffed. Below are the edited highlights of his blog entry about the event the full thing is here
I’d been hired as an expert commentator about matters relating to Apple, iPods, computer copyright, and the Beatles.
Ok fair enough setting the scene
At my normal rates, work like this would cost you a few hundred quid. But this being the BBC, I’m doing it for nothing – as most of us do, these days, in order that they can pay Jonathan Ross several million a year…
Hmm Ok lost me a little bit there are you saying you have standard TV appearance fees for the other channels? Are you sure you’re not doing it for free because you’ll get more out of it than the BBC? And its viewers for that matter.
But let’s admit it: of all the things you can say about me, one word that really has to be deleted from the list is this one: “Black.” We’re talking biometrics, here. We’re talking about “twins separated at birth, only their mother could tell them apart”… NOT!
That’s it you’ve totally lost me now. Does it matter what colour the person who isn’t you on TV not able to talk about the things you’ve spent all weekend researching is? Are you upset that they didn’t know who you were or what you looked like Mr Kewney? Are you a bit miffed that should you have had to stand up and say ‘do you know who I am’ the response would have been ‘no mate not the foggiest idea’
At first, I’ll admit, I thought it was hilarious.
Good. It was.
But the unworthy thought does persist that perhaps, those producers don’t care much about the fact that my reputation was completely shredded by the way they put up an ignoramus and claimed he was me. And the further unworthy thought occurs: that, possibly, the production mind is simply focused on the fact that if they put up my (real) interview, someone might realise that one of those Guy Kewneys could not be the real one, and that (no! surely not?) the BBC had made a complete arse of itself.
Oh my you total twat! Your reputation isn’t shredded nobody cares who you are is all. Mr Goma isn’t an ignoramus he was nervous and thought it was part of the interview you pompous arse.
And the fact that a few hundred thousand people in the world are now under the impression that I’m an ignoramus who knows nothing about technology or Apple or iPods, and has a very poor command of English? – well, that’s not the Beeb’s problem, is it? After all, is a journalist going to sue the BBC and get blacklisted? Of course not!
The people of the world aren’t under any impression about you they don’t know who you are Mr Goma sorry Kewney. Not knowing anything about technology, Apple or iPods hardly makes a person an ignoramus now does it? A poor command of the English language? How’s your French? Is it as good as Mr Goma’s? And finally Mr Kewney you’ve clearly gone barking mad. The BBC did the best thing they could they admitted their mistake and went national with it they made fun of themselves they saw it for what it was, a mistake. Mr Goma got a spot on ITV at the Princes Trust Birthday party what were you doing you miserable old bitch?
And he gave us some priceless TV. I’d never have watched the actual news segment if he’d done it (”I was going to compare the iPod to a blank CD”: what?), but I’ve watched the Goma clip dozens of times.
I particularly like how you can literally count the shades of panic that flit across his face when he has his “oh, shit” moment. I’ve got up to four so far.