When you do nothing all day work from home you get to see some a shit load of daytime television.
Today my attention was distracted to The Jeremy Kyle Show. A cheap and typically British rip off of Jerry Springer. Today a young girl had told ‘a bloke she knew’ that she was pregnant and he was the father. He wasn’t so sure but in his defence he was willing to accept it might be his.
The best part was the sister of said pregnant lady who ‘went to town’ on the young man for about twenty minutes* she told the audience what a lying skank he was.
The next best bit was the DNA test. Turned out he wasn’t the father - he jumped up and down like he’d scored the winning goal in the world cup final. She ran off in tears but they asked the sister to return and Jeremy Kyle told her, in no uncertain terms, that she was a liar who’d done a terrible things.
Then, pure magic. Jeremy said to the sister that she should apologise to the young man for spreading such malicious and untrue rumours about him. She said ‘what for I’ve done nothing wrong’
At that point my will broke and I switched off.
I need some more work. Please God find me something to do before I end up watching 8 Simple Rules all day.****
* I switched off and returned**
** Honestly***
*** No really
**** Too late
Turns out that I’ve got it all wrong. The girl wasn’t pregnant she’d already had the baby and he’d had the name of the child tattooed on to his forearm - tastefully in some far eastern script - EVEN THOUGH he didn’t think it was his child. The mother denies that there can be another father. The only good thing about all this is that it proves I wasn’t really watching the Jeremy Kyle show (all that closely).
FYI
The Group
The Tattoo
The Sister
The Mother
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8 Simple Rules, Jeremy Kyle, Working from home
Woman second from bottom looks like an incredibly haggard Winona Ryder.