The storm in a thimble that is the I hate Macs column by Charlie Brooker is truly awful. The column itself is a fairly standard affair, entertaining and funny but clearly not all that serious. If Charlie Brooker really does hate Macs all that much I’d be surprised. It’s not the column that’s awful but the comments it’s attracted. They currently run to about 90,000 words in total. The volume is bad enough but the vitriol is just plain wrong. Some of the comments are simple untruths, others are white lies and some are just mental. It’s the passion behind them that scared me. I’ve always used Macs and I’ve worked in an office filled with Macs writing about Macs and never ever felt such passion for them, and I’ve been to two Steve Jobs keynotes. Some of the pro-Mac people have clearly take it all far too seriously, the same goes for the pro-PC people.
Take this from dcmtr
Very well said. The thing about Mac users is that they are usually the kind of people who scorn shiny consumerist things like flashy mobile phones and plasma screen TVs - but Macs, which are just as wanky, are socially acceptable.
What? Scorn shiny consumerist things? Erm… have you thought about that dcmtr? Clearly not.
Or perhaps this from TimFootman
And the reason there are far more games available for PCs than for Macs is because Mac users have better things to do with their time that fannying around getting some unfeasibly-breasted posh totty to another level, while making her flash her arse at the same time, then stropping when their Mum comes in to ask if they want an eggy and some soldiers.
No Tim it’s because there aren’t as many games for Macs.
It gets worse Theatrenotes writes
I love my Mac. It looks so much nicer on my desk than the sludge grey monster that used to squat there. My Mac just turns on and then I can work. I have written three and a half novels on my mac, and countless articles, poems and plays.
You’d have been able to do exactly the same in Windows. Honest.
Colin211159 sees himself as a comedian
Whenever I have an argument (frequently) with my PC-using colleagues, I simply ask how you switch off a PC. Answer - use the ‘Start’ button…..how intuitive is that?!
A, you have frequent arguments with your PC-using colleagues? They must love you.
B, Start button. OMG Oh no you didn’t that’s so funny.
The next comment is pure Mac using genius
Alcib
Apple has many buttons on its supermouse. The one button mouse is a myth invented by Apple detractors. It never existed, and when it did exist, it was better for you.
I’m going to ignore the fact you got the name of the mouse wrong and move on to the one button mouse myth. Eh? It never existed? I can assure you it did. But wait… when it did exist it was better for you. I’m not sure I can go on.
But I will….
The optimistically named Truth posted
Oh please. I’ve never read such a load of rubbish in my life. I was always a PC user until i studied sound engineeing at college where they used Macs. I was turned within a week.
Turned to what? The dark side? Homosexuality? Sorry couldn’t help myself.
I am IT Support Consultant and a Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer, and OSX is a far better operating system than Windows will ever be (and they are trying, believe me). It’s more intuitive, has better software, looks better, is far easier to use and never crashes. What more do you want from a OS?
It never crashes? Are you sure about that?
BallSacDuctTape
Er.. Aren’t Macs now going to be powered by PC’s (Intel Inside!! yeah Baby!)
No. Next.
Kepler
Here’s one and a half words that should settle this argument: i-Tunes.
What? That make no sense.
MrMonk is clearly a moron. Couldn’t turn it on? Did he try the big button that looks like, and indeed, is a power button? It took you A COUPLE OF DAYS to eject the CD-ROM? Was the eject key a step too far for you?
Once I’d worked out how to switch a mac on it still took ages to boot up. It took a couple of days to work out how to get my CD-ROM out. It was harder to switch between open windows than with Windows - all that fiddly dragging around and no minimising down to a tidy taskbar. It kept having memory issues when there were more than a few programs running. There’s less software. And it crashed/froze a few times too. Disappointing.
HolyBaloney
“The only way to have fun with a Mac is to poke its insufferable owner in the eye”.
Genius.
At last, someone’s said it better than I ever could: Macs are for people who don’t understand computers and who are shallow enough to fall for the marketing ploy of Apple.
Joy.
I hate to break it to ya Holy but I’m shallow for many more reasons than my personal computer of choice.
Finite
Bang on Mr Brooker, I bloody hate Macs.. what really sums them up for me is the lack of an eject button next to the CD drive, I mean you’d think this would be blindingly obvious, wouldn’t you?
No, an eject button would ruin the design you dullard.
Donche
… Notice also Mac’s skill in graphics. The cpu, Motorola, works better on graphics than the Intel chip used in IBM, Microsoft and the clones.
What? Motorola? Did you post this three years ago?
coops2001
Macs aren’t expensive? The new iPhone costs $499. And with a short battery life?
Erm.. it’s not a Mac. But it is expensive.
martinusher
The Mac will always be a minority taste while Apple insists that it has to be the sole supplier of both hardware and software.
Licence the OS you mean? YES that will work. Why haven’t they tried it before…oh hang on…
ChicagoDB
I have 5 Macs at home and away at college.
I remember one of them crashing but can’t remember if it was in 2004 or 2005.
Do you actually use these Macs? Thought not.
Tayles
I have to deal with film and media types on a daily basis - girls with names like Finola and Sarada (anything ending in ‘a’ in fact) - and to a (wo)man they use Macs. What pisses me off is that they assume the rest of the universe also uses Macs and are baffled when their attachments are unrecognised by my PC.
Personally Tales I’d see that as a failing of your computer but hey I’m sure it’s the Macs fault.
clearhop has the best idea
Please shut up everyone.
Technorati Tags:
iPhone, Apple, MacUser, Mac World, Steve Jobs, Keynote, Guardian, Charlie Brooker, Comment is free
Apple has many buttons on its supermouse. The one button mouse is a myth invented by Apple detractors. It never existed, and when it did exist, it was better for you.
I’m going to ignore the fact you got the name of the mouse wrong and move on to the one button mouse myth. Eh? It never existed? I can assure you it did. But wait… when it did exist it was better for you. I’m not sure I can go on.
The Mighty Mouse actually sucks in a big way. I have had three, and the roller ball stopped working on each after a few months - first it stopped moving in one direction, then in the other, then it stopped doing side-to-side as well. I now have a standard three-button mouse which cost twice as much as a normal standard three-button mouse. You’re better off just buying a normal wheel mouse.
I’ve written my own response to Brooker here.
My Mighty Mouse broke after about three months. Luckily as I’ve owned that many computers I have a drawer of spare mice not made by Apple. It would seem that the ball is the main sucky part of it.
However, I was really trying to bring attention to the “It never existed, ” and the “and when it did exist, it was better for you.” parts of the comment that show how nuts some Mac fans are.
Hey why are you quoting me as an example of people taking it too seriously? Other people than Charlie Brooker are allowed jokey vitriol, not that many of us could hope to be as funny as him.
Becasue it’s my blog.
I didn’t ask why it is your human right to, I asked why you did it ya smug twat.
For the love of God and all that is holy. It’s my blog I can write what I like. I wasn’t being smug I was being flippant.
The reason I highlighted your particular passage was that at the time it was near the top and it’s patently rubbish. Mac users don’t scorn shiny consumerist things they buy them hand over fist. Also, an inanimate object can’t be wanky. I had assumed that you were being sarcastic but then it wouldn’t have fit the rest of the post to admit that would it?
If you’re offended by my highlighting your comment I’ll gladly take it out.
You’ll notice that I didn’t call you a twat and while I freely accept your right to use whatever language you deem fit I’d appreciate it if you left the profanities at home.
Cheers
Actually, my point was that Mac users in my experience are middle class types who find large plasma screen TVs, big fat Mercedes (etc) distasteful, yet are happy to engage in a differently styled love of shiny objects.
Why do you keep acting like I was questioning your right to post what you like in your blog? I was just picking you up on a point, I thought that was the point of these comment things.
Clearly the PC vs Mac debate is never gonna be of any serious import, imho the one who needs to take it less seriously is you.
“Also, an inanimate object can’t be wanky.”
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=wanky
Anyway, good blog, I weren’t trying to start a row.
Right… in order
I think you’re wrong about that. I don’t think you can categorise Mac users so easily or so rigidly into groups. There’s probably an interesting University thesis to be done on that point though.
Perhaps there’s been a misunderstanding. I’m being flippant and that might not have helped the situation. In all honesty I chose the comment you wrote because it was there. Nothing more than that. I didn’t asses its value against other comments it was just there, no other reason. I do not believe you were questioning my right to use your comment I was just being glib.
The point of these comments is for people to tell me if they think I’m wrong or to agree with me or, in fact, to say pretty much what they like. This, I think you’ll agree, is evident by the fact I’ve approved your comments and set the blog up so that when you post a comment it no longer has to be approved by me and is published immediately.
Clearly you have no idea how little I care about the PC vs. Mac debate. I couldn’t take it less seriously if I tried. My flippant and somewhat sarcastic wit may loose something when it’s written down and posted on a blog…
On the inanimate object thing I’m still to be convinced but yes I’ll concede that a Mac could be deemed Wanky as a reflection of somebody’s opinion.
Thanks, Neither was I and I appreciate your comments.