All Points North

Today I’m thirty years old. I have wondered how to mark the occasion over the past few weeks as I noticed my youth disappearing in the rear view mirror. I know it’s not really all that bad but it’s less funny if you take it all in your stride isn’t it? As Joanne pointed out this morning my granddad lived till he was into his 90s. By this logic I’m only a third of the way there. ‘There’ being my death.

The thing with thirty as a birthday is that it’s the fist ‘landmark’ age where you can realistically start looking back. There’s 1, which is more a landmark for parents. Then 10 which is only special because it’s a nice round number and is a decade. 13 is obvious as are 18 and 21. The thing all these have in common is that you are ‘looking forward’ to what might become. You can still do the same for 30 but there’s enough time gone for you to reminisce.

Looking back is less fun than forwards because though the triumphs and high-points are there so are the mistakes and missteps. If you’ve not got any regrets you’re probably not trying hard enough or are a cold inhumane person, in my opinion obviously. I’m not saying I live and die by them however when you’re looking back you can see a different approach but frustratingly you can’t go back and say ‘no don’t say that you don’t truly think that and it’s mean’ or ‘Why the fuck didn’t you go for it you big girl?’ or ‘It’s only an extra £300 for the faster processor’.

Don’t get me wrong I’m still the old selfish Chris I always have been but when I look back it’s difficult to be proud of the moment I tripped up that girl in the playground at St. Peter and St. Paul R.C. Middle school. I think she has probably got over it, at least I hope she has. Or the time I ridiculed a colleague at Jessops instead of helping them be better at their job, even if it is a good one for interview panels. (‘I learned from a mistake etc etc…’)

As I said it’s not all bad and I can look back with satisfaction as well. Working for MacUser was and remains a great pleasure and something I take great pride in. Seeing my name in print still to this day makes me smile. It’s the same smile I had when I was first listed in the flannel panel in issue 1825. No I didn’t have to look that up. Getting in to university with one GCSE (C English Lit) and two A’levels (E Photography and D General Studies) was a bit of an achievement too. But somehow the things that went and are going well don’t have the same resonance because you don’t want to change them. The good things that cross your mind make you smile the mistakes make you draw breath and think good God did I really say/do that? What a fucktard. Also, it’s difficult to find something to be proud of because in a lot of cases it’s just what you do and who you are so you take those occasions for granted.

There’s still plenty to come but today I’m looking back as well as forwards. I think that’s why 30 is weird. It’s the first report card that matters it’s the one that you actually can write ‘could try harder’ in and know whether that’s true or not. You can’t change what’s happened but you are doomed to remember regardless.

Christopher Brennan 30 today and a little bit introspective. And with his thirty years of experience has this sage advice, which he stole obviously.

Make me feel tiny if it makes you feel tall but there’s always someone cooler than you.

This Keefe thing has grown into a bit of mountain from the anthill it began life as. The defence of Keefe and his question has been on the slow burner even though criticism was swift. The arguments that his question wasn’t dumb and that people who think it is seem to fall into three camps: The Columbo defence, the I’m a journalist you wouldn’t understand defence and The what would you ask then? Defence.

The Columbo approach

As far as I’m concerned, is total codswallop. Columbo may well have asked dumb questions to illicit an incriminating answer from a potential murderer but it’s not a real world example of anything because it’s fiction. Just like there could never be a president of America like Bartlett or a doctor like House because they are fiction.

The Columbo approach admits that the question is dumb but that it needed to be asked because the questioner had a deeper understanding, or a least a hunch, that there was a deeper story. Also, it requires the person answering the question to believe that they had the upper hand and could never be found out. Not likely in this situation.

The I’m a journalist you wouldn’t understand argument

is the most self-centred and ridiculous argument as far as I can see. It’s an argument that belittles bloggers (lumping them all into one handy basket) as people who don’t get the black art of disseminating information. Don’t get me wrong I certainly think there are journalists who are more experienced and we indeed do perform a different task than that of bloggers but to say your opinion is wrong because you blogged it instead of writing about it for a publication is a bit shallow and self-important.

Finally we reach the

What would you ask then?

Defence. Total waste of breath and time for two reasons. The first is that if you reply with a question the inevitable response is ‘well that’s even dumber because…’ The second is it’s a discussion about how dumb the question was not what else should he have asked because that’s the question he asked. Debating what ‘might’ have been asked is a waste of time.

Though your mother may have told you that the question not asked is the only stupid one she probably also told you that you were beautiful and that you shouldn’t care what other people think of you.

I’ve read a few different approaches to the defence of Keefe.
I stick by my original opinion that asking why Apple doesn’t put stickers on its machines was dumb.

Technorati Tags:
Intel Inside, Bob Keefe, Apple

Who was it? Come on we have to find out. Given the opportunity of a lifetime somebody asked Steve Jobs himself why Apple didn’t add Intel Inside stickers to its products. Now call me picky but were I given the opportunity to ask one of the most influential and important CEOs in the IT world a question it wouldn’t be that. I realise the spotlight of pressure might have been on and the idea that you’d get to ask his Steveness a question might not have entered your mind before hand but for the love of God how on earth could that be your question?

Who knew?