Category Archives: Web

Ahh how lovely

Math Wonder

Danica McKellar Is Counting on Girls to Love Numbers

Words By Corey Binns

When a classmate in her freshman math class at UCLA tapped Danica McKellar on the shoulder and asked, “Aren’t you the girl who …” she expected him to quiz her about her role as Winnie Cooper on the iconic television show The Wonder Years. Instead he continued, “… got the best score on the exam?” For the first time, McKellar felt recognized as something other than a child actress.

And then he fucked* her……..

*apologies.

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Funny things pressure groups

PETA the organisation that campaigns for the ethical treatment of animals isn’t often on my radar. Neither, to be fair is Gordon Ramsay. Though to be honest I’ve seen more of Mr Ramsay recently.

The BBC is running a story about Gordon crashing a 4×4 whilst herding buffalo in Scotland. A spokeswoman for the show said;

“They went charging around in two 4x4s, and there was a point at which they met,”

Hmm yes that’s a perfect description of a crash.

On to PETA

The story continues;

Ramsay’s TV show got into trouble with animal rights groups last month after horse meat was shown being cooked during his programme.

Protesters from People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (Peta) dumped a ton of horse manure on the steps of his Claridge’s restaurant following the broadcast.

OH NO THEY DIDN”T! HORSE MANURE? THOSE PESKY BLIGHTERS.

I’d have had more respect if they hadn’t then got accusatory;

Peta accused the programme of mounting a ratings-grabbing “gimmick”.

Gimmick? Like shoving a ton of horse shit on someone’s front door?

Read the story here: Ramsay in buffalo herding crash

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Comment crazy

Every now and again I go comment crazy. It’s a strange habit but I spend months lurking and reading blogs but don’t get the urge to type anything. Then I get a surge of typing frenzy and start spouting my opinion and advice left, right and centre. Then I sit back and worry about missing the point or inadvertently upsetting someone through a comment that was meant to be funny ha ha not funny, I thought he had a brain. And the cycle begins again.

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Hmmm

BHEJAPADAR, India (Reuters) – The corpse of an Indian man was exhumed by his family in a remote eastern village in the belief that a witch doctor could bring him back to life, three days after he died.

Arun Majhi, 21, died after he was bitten by a snake while scouring the jungle near his home for firewood last Thursday and his grieving family buried him the same day.

But two days later, Majhi’s mother dreamt that her son could come back to life. On Sunday, they dug his grave, exhumed the corpse and hired Natabara Sahu, a local witch doctor, who promised to do his best.

“I am sitting beside my son waiting for him to come back to life,” Bibhisan Majhi, Arun’s father, told Reuters Television as he fanned Arun’s corpse, which was covered with a mosquito net.

But with Arun still dead two days after the witch doctor was hired, the family gave up and reburied him in Bhejapadar village in the eastern state of Orissa.

Superstitions are widespread in India, especially in rural areas where an ineffectual schooling system has left millions illiterate and uneducated.

That last line really annoyed me. It’s like saying don’t worry they’re all stupid and we’ll be along to bring democracy and a great school system to those fuzzy wozzies anytime soon.

Anyhow this leads me to

MIDDLETOWN, Ohio — An Ohio couple said they are baffled by a strange image captured in a photograph.

“We noticed something on the picture and couldn’t explain it,” said Beverly Johnson, who snapped the picture last month during a fundraiser for Paul Clifford, a Middletown man who was dying of cancer.

Although friends had hoped Clifford would make it to the April 29 fundraiser, he was too sick to attend. But Johnson and her husband, Ron, said their friend was there in spirit — and they believe they may have photographic proof.

An image in a snapshot taken at the fundraiser appears to rise out of Ron’s water bottle and float above his head.

“Ron was saying he thought it was his friend with him, because we know in spirit he wanted to be there so bad,” said Johnson.Skeptics have laughed at the notion, but one local spiritual advisor said that the cloudy, white image represents a good spirit. And when the photo is turned sideways, explained the advisor, the image resembles the form of a dove.

“That’s why I say he was right with us,” said Ron Johnson. “His spirit came out of a bottle.”

The Johnsons claim a strong faith, but even so, they checked the negative of the photograph and said nothing had been spilled on it, and the mysterious image does not appear in any of the other pictures on the roll.

Clifford died May 17 after a long battle with liver cancer, but the Johnsons said his spirit still intrigues people.

They have had a number of requests for copies of the mysterious photo.

Perhaps an ineffectual schooling system and millions of illiterate people are to blame?

13424411.jpg


I can tell you now with absolute certainty that someone, or thing, has touched the print before it was dried properly and that’s what left the mark. It appears to be part of the photo because it’s been through the drier after it’s been touched. Or it’s an imperfection on the paper roll. Trust me I’m a witch doctor.

The reason 1984 won’t be like 1984?

Because it’s a fucking* book.

George Orwell was an author not a fucking* time traveller. Please for the love of god and my sanity stop comparing the increase in CCTV cameras to a work of fiction.

There’s a much longer post here about how there are a number of people who are almost wishing the premise of 1984 to come true. They see it in everyday things like talking CCTV in Middlesbrough (actually very successful) and speed cameras. I’ve no doubt that there’s a dialogue to be had and a balance to be struck but there’s a seemingly endless stream of people who cite the work as an inevitability should ‘things continue the way they are’. Bollocks. Just because some geezer wrote a decent book doesn’t make it true.

* An apology. My language has really taken a turn for the worse. I used to have such medium-height standards but they’ve sunk very low lately. Kids, it’s not big and it’s not clever.

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Reasons to hate Media Watch UK #234 in a never ending series

Media Watch claim that they:

provide an independent voice for those concerned about issues of taste and
decency in the media.

It’s ethos is to provide a voice for those people who have an interest in issues of taste and decency in the media. You might think they’d have to be open and tolerant to achieve this aim but no, they’re a bunch of homophobic pigs. Here’s their take on Dawn Airey joining ITV;

ITV pins its hopes on a new Dawn …

The executive described as the most powerful woman in British television is to join ITV. Dawn Airey’s appointment comes as the channel tries to improve programme quality and lift falling revenues. She will oversee in-house programme making, which puts her in charge of shows such as I’m A Celebrity … Get Me Out Of Here!, Parkinson and Coronation Street. Ariey,46, whose lesbian partner recently gave birth to a girl, will take up the job in October … She has previously worked for Sky and was chief executive of Channel Five … ITV executive chairman Michael Grade yesterday described her as a ‘dynamic’ and ‘creative’ leader. The company revealed last week that ratings for ITV1 were continuing to fall, along with advertising revenues.

Daily Mail 24/5/2006

< stream of consciousness >

Ha, nice headline that’s funny… new Dawn Ha… Ha…
Powerful woman… good we like powerful women. Trying to improve ITV content Mmmm yes good idea it’s been a bit light recently seemingly all they can do is bring back old stuff that used to work like Cracker and Prime Suspect. In charge of I’m a celebrity, Parkinson, Coro… Mmm she must be important and experienced and clever. Her girlfriends just had a baby awww how nice…. hang on… wait a minute….. what, in the name of all that’s holy has that got to do with it?

< /stream of consciousness >

Nothing you bunch of fucktards. Can she do her job and will she listen to your demands for better standards is all that you should care about you bunch of small minded twatbags. If it was Dan Aiery I’m sure you wouldn’t have written

‘Ariey, 46, whose hetrosexual partner recently gave birth to a baby girl will take up the job in October’

How’s about some taste and decency in your reporting Media Watch?

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Oh Dear what could the matter be?

Ben Whitehead, a 22-year-old computer technician of Huddersfield, West Yorks, said: “I am absolutely devastated.

“I have been crying and I will probably cry again in a minute. I am just trying to hold it in.

The quote above is lifted from a story on the BBC news website. What could it relate to you wonder? Is it the loss of a loved one? Perhaps the relative of a soldier killed in action overseas? A victim of some heinous crime? No he’s stuck at Liverpool airport because his flight was cancelled. He was due to fly to Athens to see the European Cup final but alas that’s not now possible. Poor thing’s not going to be able to see the football now. Oh actually Ben it’s on ITV, I know it’s not the same as being there and I’d be pissed off if I’d paid for tickets I couldn’t use but get a grip man. Nobody died.

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